.:please!:.

i’ve been away…

not knowing what life cud bring,,i continue breathing..

walking in the dark till i see him..

the one who saves me n shows me the path i never knew existed..

i tot i cud live pretending that i did not care..

that ikram was all i needed and what u did wud not affect me no more..

now that i have him who does nothing but making me happy..

well,,i was wrong,,and wrong again..

cuz,,i hv a heart that can bleed..

but if things have to be this way,,i surrender..

ayah,,

i never had u n i think i can live knowing that i never will..

but i will always love u,,n think that u love me t0o..

those memories of you,,are always tormenting..

those things that u do,,are always hurting..

now that u see how important i am to be seen..

it’s a little t0o late,,n perhaps it a little too temporary..

those scars u give,,still hurt..

no matter how hard i try,,i still feel the pain..

21 years growing up wanting u to want me are too exhausting..

i’ve learnt how to stop seeing u not looking at me..

i’ve come up with many excuses to suffer in silent..

i’ve found the way to wake up n smile again..

i’ve reached to the point where my heart numbs even though it still bleeds..

so please,,give me this chance to at least take care of my own heart..

when u r not capable of seeing any..

so please,,don’t deny my right to be hurt..

when all u do is hurting me..

and please,,if you cannot see me..

don’t play with my heart n pretend like u care..

cuz i can see,,how this will turn ugly,,again..

it’s just too predictable and i am tired of hoping..

p/s: ayah,,i won’t stop loving u n hope u’ll be happy with her n ur new children cuz now only i realize that a father needs to see his daughter before he can be happy with her presence.

how i wish having me is enough for you