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Category Archives: .:my r0yal life:.

ibu,,

‘Ain berusaha keras utk masa depan..

byk kali terlintas dlm hati..

berbaloi kah??

harta, pelajaran, kebahagiaan, dan sgala yg di kejarkan..

kalau akhirnya ‘Ain mungkin akhiri hidup sdetik kemudian?

tapi jika ‘Ain yg pergi dulu,,’Ain tahu apa yg ‘Ain mahukan utk ibu..

perasaan ini mungkin dosa terbesar ‘Ain..

mungkin x ckup keimanan menolak sgala kbencian..

tp ‘Ain ttp percaya skuatnya,,Dia x abaikn kita..

maka ‘Ain cuba bahagiaan kan si tua.

…….’Ain da terima sgala surat penyerahan harta ibu……

i knew it must be hard to finally see that ur last bit of trace in this world was about to be erased and to finally declare that you are not here..

there’ll be no more Aminah Ya’cob in any documentation..

there won’t be “ohh,,that’s my mum’s”

all the books you wrote,,the books that u didn’t finish,,it’s gone,,from priceless to useless..

i’m just wondering,,will i be able to finish writing before i leave??

or will i be forgotten just like urs??

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kehadapan bintang jatuh,

telah terkubur hati menyala,

berkecai serentak dihentak ragu,

kerna percaya tersembam muka.

berkelana mencari tersesat sendiri,

mengapa di situ tapi tak ketemu?

inikah sepi?

sering kulaung berkali-kali,

dibalas hanya bisikan peri,

akhirnya tersadung kaki,

terjelepok sendiri,

menyekat lemah langkah hati,

tersedar hakikat kini,

diselirat ku terhenti,

jawablah bintang,

jawabkan soalan ini,

benarkah cinta tiada dihati?

jika benar cinta tiada lagi,

mengapa harus kau jatuh ke sini?

jika benar cinta telah bersemadi,

mengapa harus aku begini?

*my 1st attempt for mission confession project and my first Malay poem as well

*i actually did this poem during a Kesat talk! ūüėÄ

12.40 a.m.

..phone rings..

x: “hello,,hye ibu!!”

o: “hello”

x: “erk,,who’s this???”

o: “owh,i’m ……….(sensored) i found a handbag with this phone in it,do you know who’s phone is this??”

x: “(surprise to death) yes,in fact i do,it’s my mum’s! where did you find it??!! and thanks for calling me”

o: “at Cempaka …………….(not sure,mall or building or expo) so can you come and get it?”

x: “erkkk,,where exactly is that place??”

o: “opposite of Malacca Central”

x: “what?? (not surprise that it’s not in Johor but because my mum went shopping without me, is she really getting better??!) owh,,oke thanks a lot!”

..call my dad.. (but my mum answered)

x: “hello ibu,ibu ktne?? ibu taw x handbag ibu ktne??”

o:”hah ain, ibu nga jln2 nih, kt mlake ngn ayah, byk nye expo raye, bes shopping skng ni, ibu jalan slow2, ade banyak lagi kdai nk masok nih” (smangat dn ceria jek nada,,bia btol >.<“)

x: “owh,ayah mne?? ibu ilang handbag ke?? handphone ibu ilang?? ade org jmpe ni,,die tepon ain”

o: “handbag ibu?? alah,ade lah tu,,kt ayah,,ayah yg pgang,,nnt ibu nk ibu mntak kt ayah,,ibu nga pilih barang nih. ain tepon nombor ibu ke td?? owh,,ayah x pasan la tuh”

x: “hah??? (ape ibu ckp ni?? ini siyes taw!) ibu,,handbag ibu dah ilang lahhhhhhh,,org da jmpe kt cempaka!!! die tepon ain.. ibu x pasan ke?? dah ilang!!!”

o: “hah??!!! ilang??!! yeke??? ayah,,bag ibu ilang dah ke??

(jrit2 pnggil ayah,dan ibu tros ckp ngn ayah tanpa totop phone sbb glabah sgt,,dnga suara ayah “hah?? cempaka tu kt mne?? kte pg ke td??)

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

well,that’s my parents when my mum is not being warded. they are so cute together. i just wish that i could see more of that than anything else,,dan buat jangka masa yang lebih lama……

Do you hear me,
I’m talking to you
Across the water across the deep blue ocean
Under the open sky oh my, baby I’m trying
Boy I hear you in my dreams
I feel your whisper across the sea
I keep you with me in my heart
You make it easier when life gets hard

I’m lucky I’m in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Oooohhhhoohhhhohhooohhooohhooohoooh

They don’t know how long it takes
Waiting for a love like this
Every time we say goodbye
I wish we had one more kiss
I’ll wait for you I promise you, I will

I’m lucky I’m in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
I’m lucky we’re in love in every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

And so I’m sailing through the sea
To an island where we’ll meet
You’ll hear the music, fell the air
I put a flower in your hair
Though the breezes through trees
Move so pretty you’re all I see
As the world keeps spinning round
You hold me right here right now

I’m lucky I’m in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
I’m lucky we’re in love in every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

Ooohh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
Ooooh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

just woke up from my two hours nap (can i still call it a nap??), feeling fooled by the clock (why does time have to be so quick?? slow down dude!~) check out my ym and close all ym windows (why do people have to buzz me and then sign out?? i suspect a conspiracy going on..)

going back to my bed, turn off my mp3 player (it’s not working well anymore,,how i wish i got a cute¬†new mp3 player for my birthday next week =.=”)

quickly grab my towel and¬†get into the toilet.. take all the toiletries and put it on the wash bowl,,stop,,and stare (literally).. Dove: straight and silky, (owh, i’ve been using this for t0o long already).. put it back to its place and quickly get back¬†to room and¬†open up the¬†goodie bag (the one that i got¬†from the¬†Sunsilk audition).¬†take those bottles and stare (again) Sunsilk: smooth and silky,,Sunsilk: strengthening,,Sunsilk style: straight and sleek (too many choices for someone who just woke up from bed =.=”)¬†managed to make a decision –> the pink coloured bottle (Sunsilk: smooth and silky,,i guess,,my hair just need to stay smooth and silky)

..take a shower..

surprise!!! (wow,this thing really smells good!) i wonder why i had not tried Sunsilk product before..oh, i know,,people¬†claim that it’s¬†gonna make¬†hair become frizzy and hard to manage¬†(well,of course,it does not feel as soft as after i washed it with Dove,,but we’ll see,,i guess i’m¬†risking my hair¬†because i like the smell,,hahaha) and¬†it still smells good right now!

i’m¬†very particular¬†when it comes to¬†shampoo (well,,good manageable hair can boost up my confidence!)..

¬†as far as i can remember,,i have only used recommended salon signature shampoos (when i got my hair permed or straightened), Johnsons and Johnsons, Clairol herbal essence, Tresemme, Pantene, Dove, etc. etc. (i can’t really remember all) but certainly¬†not¬†Sunsilk and Rejoice (i mean, not yet,,because from now on,,i’m gonna give it all a fair chance!)

personal hair care tips:

  • change your shampoo according to your current hair condition
  • use only serum instead of conditioner + mask + leave on hair cream (only work for¬†shoulder length and shorter¬†hair)
  • you can take advice from others but wisely¬†apply those advice because in the end of the day, it’s your hair and you know your hair more than anyone else¬†does! ¬†(plus,,you are the one who will suffer on your bad hair¬†day,,not them!)¬†

i joined facebook long ago and instantly got addicted to it!!! but there were some incidents¬†and awkward situations happened between some of my acquaintances (please note that word –> acquaintances) and me¬† that¬†forced me to stop using¬†facebook and moved my focus away.

(well,i could have deleted them from the¬†list but i didn’t really know how to,and still have no clue,hahaha)

but recently, i’m back to facebook..

n guess what! i was lost in my own profile!

i was like, whoa! what is this thing?? c0ol,,it’s different now! and then i was like,,erkkkk,,how do i see my picture? this button is for what? and owh,,how do i feed my fluffy pet?? let’s see,,if i push this thing,what will happen?? wow,i have a baby!! but¬†where does¬†he come from??! and seriously,, Louis Vuitton??!!!

(gosh,am i an IT illiterate or what?!!)

  • stop making excuses
  • stop looking back
  • stop wondering why
  • stop blaming others
  • stop being childish
  • stop being stupid
  • stop being lame
  • stop the madness
  • stop the hatred
  • stop being ridiculous
  • stop expecting t0o high
  • stop being hypocrite
  • stop stop stop!!!!!

let’s¬†just embrace this¬†wonderful life! once and for all!!! yeah!!!

(a little reminder for me :D)

gh.gif

Last night, i spent the night out with a couple of friends, hang out at Laundry, The Curve while waiting for the movie to start at 2.15 a.m.

Tanx friends for being considerate and come to rescue when i’m down. i called my mum to tell her that i was going to Damansara and hang out with my friends for the entire night. As always, she said okay and asked me to take good care of myself. (ibu,,tanx for understanding and believing in your daughter more than she herself does!)

Venue : Laundry, The Curve & Cineleisure Damansara.

This is officially the first time after the poignant incident that i ever go out and hang out for the entire night. I was always a nocturnal person and still am.

Night is the time when i’m most productive and inspired. Unfortunate enough, after some ill-fated events that took place in my life, i lost my identity and struggling to define myself. Consequently, i stop myself from going out even when persuasively asked by some of my friends who know how much i’m suffering from the incident. i’m down, especially when i’m trying to deny myself and try to fix who i really am. but i guess it’s worth the try and now i know that i can never be someone else!

some might ask why would i do that? forbidding myself from being the girl who i really am and purposely make my life miserable for that. well fellas, i have some past experiences that told me : ‘no one can ever keep up with me, my life, my friends, my dreams, and basically, MYSELF!”

i lost lots of entities in my life for what i am. they don’t know me but still accuse and blame me,, and eventually get away from me. when i say i hang out with friends at night and have fun, they would assume me being in the club drinking and partying. *sigh* heyy,,i can always just have my supper and laugh my lungs out!

Last two nights, (the night i posted the post ‘sayang, putri misses you’ ) i cry my heart out and crashed again. Frustrating indeed, after 3 months of struggling, i still can’t get over it. i’m still haunted by the fear, and the memories. i’m still reaching out for the answer. i’m still baffled! *double sigh*

Talking bout the movie, 27 Dresses makes me wonder.. what i need the most in my life,, in terms of love and belonging. do i want to be loved and belonged to anyone in particular? do i need a wedding or a marriage? the answer is, yes, perhaps i need it all. but now that i realize one thing; i need the happiness more than the declaration of love. i need to feel the love more than to define the love itself..

i want to be exactly like this: th_funny.gif

still you & me not you @ me

still you & me not you, me, & her

still you & me not you @ him

still you & me not me, myself, & i……

It has been a while since i last post something… (well,,i don’t even write regularly)

My friend has been asking me why,,why don’t i write things more frequently and maybe put some interesting things on my blog..

Well,,here are some of the reasons why :

  • I don’t know what is interesting to others n why would i care. *duh* This is just a medium for me to express myself n it doesn’t matter if no one reads my blog,,i still consider this as a blessing,,to have my very own space.
  • I only write with my heart,,i want to share my perspectives and hopefully it’ll make people think and they can personally relate to it. That’s why it’s extremely important for me to write ONLY what i believe in and not for the sake of people to read.
  • I start blogging after i got dumped. (so that tells how much it reflects the need to have a medium to put my heart into)
  • I don’t like the pressure of writing things for others. just as much as the title has spoken for itself,, *under my crown*,this is all about me n my not-so-simple-life!

n the list goes on…………….. (i think,there is zero need of explaining things in detail as people can actually figure it out on their own)

current mood : unmotivated kol1.jpg

but trying hard to put all that aside,,i have to make sure that i have the total control of my very own life! (never gonna let anything to get in the way!)

th_malaysia.gifJust got back from Ethnics and Relation class. *yeay* & for the record,i didn’t sleep at all during the class. *clap clap clap* Apparently, political issues help a lot,lol. As predicted, Prof. Alan (his name is just like one of the character in Anak-anak Sidek‘s comic) would talk about politic for the whole period. Obvious enough, Malaysia is not yet recovered from the election fever. The harsh wake up call for Malaysia is definitely a today’s hot topic! I myself have become more involved in this kind of intellect discussion when i was not even interested in political issues before. May it be the result of my increasing maturity level or simply the effect of the escalating sense of responsibility to my beloved country. Perhaps, both. Focusing on Malaysia’s present political status, it is indeed very subjective to jump into any conclusion for the most shocking and even drastic change in our political status. However, it is loud and clear enough for Malaysia to see how things can change in a blink of an eye and the importance of working together for the better. National unity is the main issue here and yet we are busy arguing bout lots of things (quota and stuff). I’m perplexed, i mean why must we argue when we can discuss appropriately and wisely. Different people may have different point of views regarding this very crucial matter. Yet, blaming others or even turn down others opinion is not the right way to voice out your ideas. It is best for us to consider every single opinion and see this issue in every possible angle so that we can come to an agreeable solution. Malaysia is the only harmonious multi-racial country in the world, yes, we are! Some might say that Malaysia is not even the best Islamic country or anything, my advice, be grateful fellas! Embrace what we have before we lose it and left with nothing. Think back and reflect!

We might as well reflect back on these Malaysian old folks sayings :

yang di kejar tak dapat, yang dikendong keciciran

dengar guruh di langit, air tempayan di curahkan

 

Rationality, it is what we need the most!